Archive for the 'the insolent child' Category

Suddenly It Is Winter

I wrote the title to this post a few days ago, in the middle of our 3 day deluge. I then wrote a slightly maudlin first paragraph and sensed that I should let it sit.

I was right. It was a bit much.

We were getting a  taste of the darker months to come. It is the way the seasons go. Sneaking up a few days at a time, sending lookouts a few weeks ahead of the rest of the regiment. The air wasn’t cold but something in the breeze did not belong to summer and it took little handfuls of leaves from the trees around my porch. I am sad to see this summer go but I know when we reach the crisp brilliant days of Autumn I will be glad. It is my favorite after all.

Speaking of which, I didn’t manage to turn in to a food storage queen. I had hoped to have a freezer full of…something. I don’t. I do have some vegetable stock, some in cubes and a couple larger amounts. I have a bag of veggie bits on the way to being more stock. I have a few tomatoes and some basil. I suspect this will not equal a winter’s worth of food. Oh well, most of my goals start with grand illusions and fizzle into modest success. I do have some bread flour from Georgia that the KP brought me. I also have the flour and corn meal that Elsie picked up for me from the local mill. I still have some weeks left and if I could manage to make my brain work on Saturday mornings I might still be able to plan ahead a bit. Either that or I will get rickets, or scurvy or some other ancient disease.

Tomorrow, I will be doing laundry and such around the house, I will. Even better though, I will be having ice cream with the KP and the IC and I hope like hell the gelato place will be open. I haven’t enjoyed a single gelato all Summer, how is that possible?

In the evening I will be going to Jedidiah’s with our friends J and T for a Virginia wine tasting. We are attempting to start a little tradition. The first wine dinner was at my place. We tasted a Condrieu and three different Burgundy’s I had that needed to be consumed. This is Jedidiah’s turn. We will be descending on him and drinking four different Virginia wines and bringing food. I think the next will be at J and T’s and we are aiming for the Loire.

Today I headed up North a bit with my Fella and the band to watch them play at a wine festival. I and M and the little ones, including my fella’s number one fan, came out too. We had a great time. The kids spent a lot of time on various bouncy things and the adults enjoyed some local White Riesling. All of this topped off by the fella’s music and his number one fan’s total delight. I also manged to get a Fucking sunburn. How? I am the whitest most sun hating person in world besides Fatbiscuit and I get a burn. It was overcast almost the entire time. I spent 20 minutes in the sun chatting to a friend and I get a burn.

Surprise delight of the week: My fella returned from the recycling centre with a book for me, a book on ettiquette copyright 1921. I couldn’t be happier!

xo,

LB

Assemblage

I have three “new” dresses coming my way. They are “new” because they were all free from swaps or hand me downs but I never wore them because they were all too big or not quite right. Ha! no more. I have the totally genius Elsie fixing them for me. Taking them in and adding darts and changing necklines and sleeve lengths etc. All things I am totally incapable of doing. Before you get excited thinking you will head right over with a pile of things for her to fix, I had to get through the old SB security and ply her with wine. I may have pretended to faint. I am not above that sort of thing. I also should have some locally grown flour coming my way. From these guys. This, also from Elsie. Good woman to know. Also, I have a call out to the local nuns to find out how and when I can get some of their locally made Gouda. This is extra exciting to me since we have quite a few sheep’s milk and goat’s milk cheeses available, many at a billion dollars a pound, but not many versatile, sorta cheap options. Of course, last night I was so lazy I ate cheese and bread for dinner instead of making something out of the deliscious things rotting in the fridge. Ya win some, ya lose some.

I went to the market this morning to pick up my CSA veggies. Had a nice little chat, grabbed the goods and got hell out. That place is a zoo by 9:30. The haul was pretty good. Kale, cukes, squash, scallions, lettuce, beets, radish etc. I think my landlord is finally going to fix my aged oven so it will light without me having to stick my head in it. This could open up a whole new world!

Critter news: Stank and I took part in one of my favorite activities last evening (get yer mind outta the gutter). Skunk watching! I have a little buddy or two that come around in the evenings to check out the trash and recycling. I have seen an albino before but this was the regular stripey kind, though it didn’t look very old. Pretty darn cute till he figured he was being stared at and headed on down the road. I also have a cheeky squirrel who is trying to move into my porch. The other day I surprised him by coming home and he had to take a flying leap. Also, I had some kind of bee coming in to my bathroom to die. En Masse. I don’t consider it a good omen but it seems to have tapered off so…. but best of all! Starrhillgirl has two new kittens! We took a nice drive through the country last week to look in on Stanks kitty and headed out to Tex’s to fawn over the kittens. In a shocking turn of events (not really) she adopted them both on the spot and they rode home in a box on my lap. So fuzzy.

Whew. The Kingpin and IC spent the last week in New Mexico visiting family. I just got a call from the IC letting me know they are on their way home. They are on a shuttle bus.

xo,

LB

Uncomfortable Moments with The Kingpin

At approximately the same time as LB was hosting a cross-burning in my front yard, the IC and I were eating at a local noodle shop. We were immediately joined by another solo mom and her two young girls. There was a lot of staring and observing betwixt the IC and the other girls and soon the little ones were talking about each other in front of each other, you know the way they do. Our dinner-mates asked their mom, “Where’s Daddy?” She said, “At work.” They said, “Where’s that little girl’s daddy?” I gulped… Uh oh here we go. Then the mom says, “He’s probably at another work, but not your daddy’s work place.” So the curious girls turn to the IC and say, “Where’s your daddy?”

The IC says completely matter-of-factly, “My daddy’s dead. He took too much pills.”

Bagonk. That’s the sound of the jukebox dramatically stopping.

There’s just no way to describe the pall that fell over the sesame noodles and dumplings. I mean, what do you say? Do I jump in and explain that he wasn’t a drug addict, that he was very sick and frail and a slight and accidental increase in his dosage of painkillers caused his body to shut down? No, of course not. I sat there staring at my oily styrofoam container until the mom said to her daughter, “Now’s when you say, ‘I’m sorry,” which I appreciated. That poor woman! I bet she’s wishing she’d never sat down next to us.

Poop the poop—it’s poopie!

Somehow the IC who had the wherewithal to ask me to describe honor and metaphor thinks that inserting “poop” and “pee” every third word is the wittiest, most incisive way to respond to every question. Sample conversation:

-What did you do in school today, honey?
-My poop work. [Can you tell she’s a Montessori kid?]
-What else?
-I pooped.
-Okay, but who was at school today with you?
-Poopie pee pee and poop the pooper.

Crap. How do I make it stop. Shit.

Should I Be Doing Something Else?…….

LB here.

It has been a while and I am very sorry. Luckily the Kingpin has manged to fill that time with dry cleaning and uncomfortable run ins with the neighbors! I have a lot of work to do for an upcoming Demonstration and performance US GIRLS are getting together. This of course means I am here writing a post! Not to worry I am also delurking elsewhere as I try for a tri-chat with the Kingpin and Starrhillgirl and crack jokes with one of my comrades (via e-mail) over pictures of her fighting me while dressed like a squid. I am practically CEO material!

I am doing all of this to the sweet refrain of IC singing, acting like she isn’t up to anything every time I walk by, and demanding that someone fetch her some water because she is tooooooo tired. Quickly she realized she had trapped herself in a box with that one and resorted to the standard issue nooooooooah! All is quiet….for now.

I have had a fairly fabulous time since last we spoke. The holly days were fabulous. I love xmas. I love buying pressies. so. there. My least favorite thing about the holly days is listening to everyone complain about them. I had a wonderfully festive xmas #1 with Stank Williams and his family, a loud, lovely time. I had an awesome time with my tiny mummy, my sis, BIL, and the bean (plus Stank). I had a rocking New Years with Stank and his music, followed by our private xmas #3. I like to keep the holly days rolling. I got several pairs of socks!!! I win. What else is there?

Now IC is out of bed, again!

Bless her heart, she has found the strength to get a cup of water. She is so brave.

Um, a lot of water?……..

P.S. I refuse to use the bathroom in a buisness that requires me to first ask for a key which is attached to some hideously large object. Rude! Rude!

Cough on, Cough Off, the Cougher!

Can you tell that LB’s missing? I’ve become Lady Blogsalot. I guess when she’s around I’m too busy gabbing and blabbing out loud, all verbal like. So this morning I had a brilliant idea to hook up the Christmas tree lights to the Clapper™ so I wouldn’t cut myself on the tree or have to reach around it and knock more ornaments down. After getting it rigged and plugged in, I clapped the requisite two times to activate the lights. No dice. I was only one foot away from the device,  so I assumed the thing was broken.

Cut to a half-hour later. The IC and I are eating our breakfast and she coughs hard twice. Bam! The tree lights up. We fell off our stools with laughter and she almost busted her lungs trying to turn the lights on and off for about another half hour.  Now the Clapper™ is coming on seemingly randomly. The dog sighs, it comes on. I drop an anvil on the floor (you know I got them), nothing. Go figure. Oh, Clapper, you big tease!

Krusty Kristmas Kostume

The IC has worn the same red velvet, pearl festooned, peter-pan-collared frock for 10 days. Will Kristmas ever end? Is this dress even Kleanable anymore?