Archive for January, 2008

Uncomfortable Moments with The Kingpin

At approximately the same time as LB was hosting a cross-burning in my front yard, the IC and I were eating at a local noodle shop. We were immediately joined by another solo mom and her two young girls. There was a lot of staring and observing betwixt the IC and the other girls and soon the little ones were talking about each other in front of each other, you know the way they do. Our dinner-mates asked their mom, “Where’s Daddy?” She said, “At work.” They said, “Where’s that little girl’s daddy?” I gulped… Uh oh here we go. Then the mom says, “He’s probably at another work, but not your daddy’s work place.” So the curious girls turn to the IC and say, “Where’s your daddy?”

The IC says completely matter-of-factly, “My daddy’s dead. He took too much pills.”

Bagonk. That’s the sound of the jukebox dramatically stopping.

There’s just no way to describe the pall that fell over the sesame noodles and dumplings. I mean, what do you say? Do I jump in and explain that he wasn’t a drug addict, that he was very sick and frail and a slight and accidental increase in his dosage of painkillers caused his body to shut down? No, of course not. I sat there staring at my oily styrofoam container until the mom said to her daughter, “Now’s when you say, ‘I’m sorry,” which I appreciated. That poor woman! I bet she’s wishing she’d never sat down next to us.

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Uncomfortable Moments with the Little Babushka.

Is it impolite?

Stank and I had a little project that needed doing.

My colleagues and I will be performing our play this weekend and some of our set needed to be updated from site specific parts made for the carnival, to a version that is able to go, go, go!

There are two structures at the back of the “stage” that hold the costumes we need to put on and take off during the play. There is a tall pole and then a cross bar so that the clothes will hang as though they are being worn by a scrawny ghostly figure. Anyhooters, these were made of white pipe and needed to be spray painted black.

Huh, funny how much they just look like crosses when they are standing here in the driveway alone.

Huh, what kind of person would be standing in the driveway….

Painting crosses……

With a man in a cowboy hat and boots…..

I asked Stank if he thought they would dry o.k. if we put them in the garage.

Poop the poop—it’s poopie!

Somehow the IC who had the wherewithal to ask me to describe honor and metaphor thinks that inserting “poop” and “pee” every third word is the wittiest, most incisive way to respond to every question. Sample conversation:

-What did you do in school today, honey?
-My poop work. [Can you tell she’s a Montessori kid?]
-What else?
-I pooped.
-Okay, but who was at school today with you?
-Poopie pee pee and poop the pooper.

Crap. How do I make it stop. Shit.

Snow woes

I have to say the single most annoying thing about snow is all the people complaining about it. Same as Christmas eh?

In particular, why do people feel the need to mock the milk buying, so called horrible driving and so called hysteria.

I don’t usually notice a lot of hysteria. I know that your friends/relatives from Buffalo/North Dakota/Antarctica would laugh at what we think of as snow. I don’t care. I don’t think it is even worth mentioning. Do you, really?

Lots of this type of talk on the local gossip website. Think of the sledding and drinking and curling up those people could have been doing with that time!

Just sayin…

Can You Tell When… Someone Is On Crystal……?

This is the search that led some wayward soul to our blog yesterday. Yikes!

We are not on crystal, though we are on snow day. Spent the morning and afternoon enjoying the beautiful views on Stank’s farm, keeping the wood stove going and staring at his cat. Heard from Fatbiscuit and the Bean and “Nana”. They are all together at Fatbiscuit central attempting the highly technical task of building a tiny log cabin. I believe they are actually using glue! No way out if they misplace a log. I said log! The kingpin is downstairs making baked goods with the IC and her little friend from down the way. The IC actually chose not to go out in the snow just to avoid wearing pants appropriate for the weather. They did not strike her fancy, fancy. This is probably for the best since the big kids don’t have anything water proof to wear and the snow is heading in the direction of slush.

The messy part of the baking must be over. The have abandoned the KP for something more fun.

Wishing I could head over to Starrhillgirl’s wood stove for a stiff health giving drink.

P.S. The girls have changed in to something “dressy” in order to handle the important task of licking the spoon. This involves at least one naked bum. FYI.

Your Dream home

What is it?

Mine would be a cottage or a cabin with a nice piece of land. It would also, somehow, be close enough to town that I could still walk to work/coffee/food/wine. I would have a couple extra buildings. Yurts, I think. One of the Yurts would be a bath house with a giant sunken stone tub, big enough to really float around in. It would also have two shower heads on the wall that would just be out in the open in the room draining into a spot on the tile floor. There would be a porch with a hot tub and an outdoor shower. I would have another yurt that was a guest house. Small but full of light with a bathroom and a little kitchen where my charming visitors could make their morning coffee without having to be friendly first thing. I would have another yurt that would just be a big open room for training and theatre making. Oddly this dream house comes complete with the dream me!

This me raises chickens and tends to them and retrieves eggs daily. I have the time and interest to tend a wonderful vegetable garden, from which I get all my produce and also store food for the winter. I also (damn I’m good) have a lovely flower bed, separate from the gorgeous landscaping, from which I pick fresh flowers every couple of days. There is a large Laurel bush for protection. I bake bread every few days. Why buy when you can make! I am able to employ ALL the useful hints and tips from REAL SIMPLE.

I love Dream me!

Should I Be Doing Something Else?…….

LB here.

It has been a while and I am very sorry. Luckily the Kingpin has manged to fill that time with dry cleaning and uncomfortable run ins with the neighbors! I have a lot of work to do for an upcoming Demonstration and performance US GIRLS are getting together. This of course means I am here writing a post! Not to worry I am also delurking elsewhere as I try for a tri-chat with the Kingpin and Starrhillgirl and crack jokes with one of my comrades (via e-mail) over pictures of her fighting me while dressed like a squid. I am practically CEO material!

I am doing all of this to the sweet refrain of IC singing, acting like she isn’t up to anything every time I walk by, and demanding that someone fetch her some water because she is tooooooo tired. Quickly she realized she had trapped herself in a box with that one and resorted to the standard issue nooooooooah! All is quiet….for now.

I have had a fairly fabulous time since last we spoke. The holly days were fabulous. I love xmas. I love buying pressies. so. there. My least favorite thing about the holly days is listening to everyone complain about them. I had a wonderfully festive xmas #1 with Stank Williams and his family, a loud, lovely time. I had an awesome time with my tiny mummy, my sis, BIL, and the bean (plus Stank). I had a rocking New Years with Stank and his music, followed by our private xmas #3. I like to keep the holly days rolling. I got several pairs of socks!!! I win. What else is there?

Now IC is out of bed, again!

Bless her heart, she has found the strength to get a cup of water. She is so brave.

Um, a lot of water?……..

P.S. I refuse to use the bathroom in a buisness that requires me to first ask for a key which is attached to some hideously large object. Rude! Rude!