i’m a bad, bad bloggrrrll

You know the best part of having hot pink hair? Sometimes, like today, I’ll be driving slowly through a parking lot, say, at the grocery store and a stranger will see me and he/she (usually a she, though) will burst out laughing. I love that. Somehow I don’t feel laughed at–I feel like I cheered someone up or woke them from their humdrum errand mind. I might just be blowing smoke up my own arse though and maybe they’re laughing AT me. Hard.
I’ve been feeling, as is my wont, a lot of angst and embarrassment and guilt for not posting much on the blog. Here’s the deal: KP [i’m best in the 3rd person] is great at starting things and has a whole lot of trouble seeing them through without other people. What I’m saying is, LB, please start nagging me!!!! All the time!!!! Ask me, “KP, you sexy stallion, have you blogged today?” Like, when I’m brushing my teeth or taking out my contact lenses or kissing my collection of Dukes of Hazzard action figures before I go to bed. It needs to be part of a routine. I admire my friends doing the NoBlowMe thing. Okay, one friend.

Also, here are a host of other excuses/reasons why KP hasn’t been holding her own on this here blog project:

1. Starting and continuing too many other projects (this is the job of the KP, after all): Miss Representation, Dido tour and workshop, PEP, the FreeDome [news on this coming soon], the IS (who is becoming less and less Insolent–we might need a new moniker that bespeaks her goofiness and spazziness), and let us not forget CLAW (charlottesville lady arm wrestlers)
2. After I get the IS all tucked in (which entails toileting, pajamery, teeth-brushing, mirror “work,”sink spitting, story reading, backrubbing, song-singing, cassette tape loading, excuse shooting-down, kissing, hugging, etc.) my ass is T-I-R-E-D. Ask LB. I’ve become a blob after 9 p.m. Still recovering from Shentai which ended 5 months ago. And maybe all the weight lifting I’ve been doing to prepare for CLAW (coming to the Blue Moon Diner in 08!).
3. Fear of writing poorly. I know, that’s lame because approximately 3 people read this blog. And you gotta start somewhere. And those 3 people are my adored people.
4. Ambivalence about blogs in general. I keep thinking, when I think of posting, shouldn’t i be applying my time to something more Significant and World-Changing. I have nothing to Say. Also, I am, as all friends of KP will attest, the absolute worst at relaxing and doing something “fun” or “lite” that doesn’t somehow more important implications. I can’t even read beach fiction at the beach. Let’s face it, I have trouble lying on a beach. I feel like a schlub [a word I think I just made up] and like time’s a wastin’.
5. Last, but not least, this blog is too dark. I’m talking about how it looks, literally. LB, we need to lighten this shit up. Give it some pizzazz. Right now it’s like jumping into a grave, aesthetically speaking.

Okay, patient readers. Time to get off the computer and recycle the miscellaneous brown/mixed paper, the one thing the city doesn’t pick up curbside. Come on City, get with it! You’re almost perfect.

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Thnks Givin.

Hello people. Couldn’t resist the texting version of a title. I hope you are all having happy Thanksgivings so far. I woke up at 11:30, that’s right! I got 9 1/2 hours of sleep. I ain’t messing around! The KP and IC are in Georgia by now. Hanging with Uncle Darren and the grandparents. I am plotting my day. I am determined it will involve a bath. Laundry. Taking out some trash. I will see a couple of friends, I think. A walk would be good. A hot tub would be better.

So? What are you thankful for?

You see all that random filler up there? That’s what I am thankful for. My life is so cushy I have time for all that. Also, there are my friends and family and Stank Williams and the KP and IC.

So?

Guess It’s Up To Me.

Well folks,

I think if we are going to get to look at a new post around here, I’m gonna have to post it.

First, I will follow the last post with the final word on my “modeling” job. That week of hour long “blow outs” and enough makeup to make a drag queen squirm has resulted in today’s reveal. If you are a totalfriggin genius you may know my other identity, in which case you will be able to see me in all my faux warmth glory. Today. I appear in an insert in the local weekly paper. Look how happy! Look how sincere! So, would you spend your money on any of that stuff?

Also this week, the KP an IC head out of town for Thnxgiving. I will be holding down the fort here at Crazytown. I have just received an invite to someones dinner. I will have to turn it down. I have a bath planned. Girls gotta bathe.

What Would You Spend Your Money on?

I’m interested. I think it is really interesting what people spend their money on. Some people are extreme they will buy anything in sight and others will buy nothing. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Their are certain types of things I find it very easy to spend money on. Coffee, wine, food. I find it hard to part with my cash when it comes to anything else. I like to buy local more than not but I’m not militant. There are certain stores I choose not to go into unless I’m REALLY desperate. Kmart, Wal*Mart, Starbucks.

So, What will you buy and who will you buy it from. What makes you feel guilty?

KP is linktastic

Patient citizens and tourists of Crazytown, we regret the severe drought of blog activity from the Kingpin. See, what happened was…the Insolent Child and I were flattened a little by a persistent cold, which left me capable of doing little more than eating and staring after she went to bed each night. We did have a notably delightful and quaint Halloween with Toya and Olivia and family in Lovingston, with the IS wearing a homemade Little Red Riding Hood getup while I sported an Ostrich Jockey inflatable situation for the 2nd year in a row. Trust me, it’s a situation, not a costume. People seem to love it or ast least to not be able to look away from it. In a stroke of pure inspiration, Wistar was a piglet-suckling-a-tiger. Little does she know that the heart-warming story isn’t true. Dodo wore nothing but a camera. That’s not really true either.

That one paragraph has tired me out utterly. All the linking and whatnot. Boy I’m not really a kingpin these days. Very little moving and almost no shaking. Good night.

Random

Saturday:

So, as you may have noticed the KP isn’t doing any “blogging”. I am having to pick up her slack and post again so that you will have something to stare at while you wiggle the saliva in your mouth around with the tip of your tongue.

You’re welcome.

I have used almost every category we have so I can wander aimlessly as I “write”. It is the last day of my work week and a good time to reflect because I try hard not to work on this day.

First, can someone explain something to me? I am wondering what is the appeal of, during a transaction of money for product, arranging the precise amount of money and coins you give the cashier so that you receive an nice round number back? Some people go to extreme lengths to make it so they receive no coins back from me at the register. Even if it means giving me a huge excess of money for what they are buying. Now, I’m not gonna judge (yes I am) I just want to know, is it worth it? Anyone out engage in this behavior? Do you feel fulfilled?

Sunday:

I managed to get out of work early on Saturday so that I could go to the Vintage Apple Festival. Our good friend Stank Williams was gonna be playing music with his band and there was Virginia country fun to be had. It was driving me crazy that I was not going to get to go since my Sister was going with my nephew, my mother, Stank’s family, the KP with IC, our friend Starrhillgirl. and many other friends. A last minute miracle (over staffing) occurred and I was good to go! So I crammed in a tiny fuel efficient vehicle with my family, Tay at the helm, and we headed south of town.

I was so glad I could make it. The day was beautiful. All my friend’s funny little kids are beautiful. Starrhillgirl looked beautiful in her modified T-shirt. The music was great. It was good clean Virginia fun. I really like where I live. I’m with Starrhillgirl on how pretty and fabulous it is around here. Even though we are lousy with republicans. My family took a hay ride. They reported it was a little scary and a lot of fun. The old folks sang along to Stank’s music, while wearing their John Deere hats. There were animals to pet and kiddy games to play and things to buy. Pickles, cider, apples, honey, plants, baskets etc.

We are all still sick in this house. Currently the KP and I are on two different computers. One up, one down. We are “IM-ing” one another so as not to have to get up. The Insolent child went off to the the safari park with Wistar and Darren. It is a weird place that doesn’t seem like it should be legal. I’ll let Wistar tell you all about that. I am fixin to have some coffee with the family before they hit the road back to NOVA. I might wash my bathmat. That is Sunday for ya.