During the Silence…..

Family Visits. Birthday Psychosis. New Baby Birthing. Jet Set to New York.

Over the weekend the insolent child turned 3. All the Grandparents arrived to whip her into a frenzy of glee and over-stimulation. A dash of brat was thrown in for good measure. Really though, how could a kid avoid it? She was positively drunk with power . All that love! All that pride! All those high-pitched lovey voices! Finally the plan was complete!

O.K. it wasn’t that bad. She is a perfectly charming tyrant. We cranked it into high gear on the day by having a party with 8 million guests and their squirmy weird little offspring. This ,of course, was the Kingpin’s doing, though she likes to say it is Wistar’s fault. So committing what most people would consider a suicidal act, we headed to a public park to host an frighteningly well attended 3 year old’s party. We loaded up Tables and Blankets and paints and face paints and drinks and snacks and pumpkins(?!) and paper and chairs and enough cake to wreak havoc on the homes of most of the town’s Montessori mummies. The cake, F yer I, was chocolate,vanilla and cherry with a Halloween scene. KP received explicit instructions from the insolent child on that front. It was a beautiful day. They laughed, they cried, they played in the water like tiny well heeled river nymphs. Some got hurt. Most painted something or someone. The IC announced it was “her day”. They kissed etc. etc. Really, tres cute! Stank helped me serenade the IC, much to her dismay. Then we all got sugar headaches and went home………. well that is what we should have done. Instead, we went to the grand unit’s new pied a terre to open all the presents. It was a frenzy of technicolour pressie delights. Each one being ripped open the second the last hit the floor. None more delightful than the brand new pink ballet outfit complete with tutu. After we managed to eat, we dragged IC out the door and home. After a quick story, one REALLY pathetic bedtime song, I collapsed on the floor. The IC had several more minutes worth of energy before finally giving in.  After a brief overview of life and all it’s lessons, KP and I abandoned Grandma KP and hit the road over the mountain to watch Stank play music. In the very same town where we were rockin’ out, our friend was busy trying to get a baby born. As it turns out, a tiny baby girl was born just as we were heading back home. The next morning KP headed out to New York Shitty and IC headed off to the grandparents with the in town flat. AH! Rest and relaxation! Then this morning KP calls from NY to give me the heads up that Granny needs to come get something the IC needs for school. No problem, I’m up a bit early but now I have the chance to get the goods out on the front porch for Granny.This way I can create a “no muss, no fuss” hand off. I carefully hide the ashtray I had so boldly left out the night before and leave the booty on the porch. Done and done, as we say. Uh huh, a little bit later I am on the back porch drinking my coffee and smoking a cigarette when who should appear around the corner of the house? Granny! I helpfully offer that what she needs is ready on the front porch. “Oh? there was more? O.k. I’ll let you in. Oh? you have a key? Oh good”. Totally busted and ambushed I get on with my day. The rest is the usual except KP is roaming round the city and I think the cat might have a bladder infection. Onward!

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7 Responses to “During the Silence…..”


  1. 1 ceri October 24, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    damn! did she find some Stank in the bedroom?

  2. 2 Wistar October 24, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    LB, you have redeemed yourself. I’m glad that the Insolent Child’s birthday ball was written up for posterity. I am still recovering from the balloon smackdown and some weird sleeping disease I must have contracted from the sewage-contaminated river.

  3. 3 little babushka October 24, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    I was all alone here but still…….

  4. 4 the kingpin October 24, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    How is it that you people are 30 times tireder than the kingpin after IC’s birthdaypalooza? Tighten it up, take some vitamins and get it together, girls.

  5. 5 lb October 24, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Just because your genetic defect makes you unable to hear the pitch of tiny voices, doesn’t mean your stronger. They don’t call it a defect for nuthin.

  6. 6 Darren October 24, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    Good writeup!

    I actually thought the party was downright mellow compared to what I’d expected! Then again, I was too crippled from soccer to really do much but lurk around and take pictures (which will be posted soon). You can always count on me to lurk with the best of them.


  1. 1 The Blog of Wistar Watts Murray » Head count of naked children Trackback on October 24, 2007 at 5:54 pm

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